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Posts tagged with "Philadelphia Flyers"

Jul 5
The Flyers have signed Claude Giroux to an 8-year, $66.2M contract which they will buy out in 2018.

The Flyers have signed Claude Giroux to an 8-year, $66.2M contract which they will buy out in 2018.

Over the years I’ve heard a lot of complaints about the Flyers goaltending, but this is a new one. Apparently Ilya Bryzgalov was caught napping at a team meeting, and maybe also napping on the bench during Tuesday’s Islanders game. To be fair to the guy, I also fell asleep during that Islanders game. It was a terrible game. You’d have thought that he would have been kept awake by the sound of the siren going off as the Islanders kept scoring.What has happened to this team?? Last year they were trading away players amidst rumors of excessive partying, and now they’ve got guys napping in the middle of the afternoon. This team used to be like a cool uncle and now it’s like a new dad.Next time he falls asleep, just lay him across the goal line. At least that takes away the five-hole.(Radio Free Tobin illustration of photo by Tom Mihalek/Associated Press.)

Over the years I’ve heard a lot of complaints about the Flyers goaltending, but this is a new one. Apparently Ilya Bryzgalov was caught napping at a team meeting, and maybe also napping on the bench during Tuesday’s Islanders game. To be fair to the guy, I also fell asleep during that Islanders game. It was a terrible game. You’d have thought that he would have been kept awake by the sound of the siren going off as the Islanders kept scoring.

What has happened to this team?? Last year they were trading away players amidst rumors of excessive partying, and now they’ve got guys napping in the middle of the afternoon. This team used to be like a cool uncle and now it’s like a new dad.

Next time he falls asleep, just lay him across the goal line. At least that takes away the five-hole.

(Radio Free Tobin illustration of photo by Tom Mihalek/Associated Press.)

Our last two years, in our first series, we’ve lost the first game. Obviously, we really wanted to come out with a good effort tonight.

- LA Kings center Mike Richards, on their Game 1 win over Vancouver.

See, this is why I love Mike Richards and was sad to see him leave Philadelphia. That first sentence — our, our, we’ve — refers to two seasons when he wasn’t even on the Kings! He wasn’t part of those years, series, or games, yet he (a) knew the history of the team, and (b) referred to that history in the first person. Total team guy. This would be like if your girlfriend remembered what you bought your parents for Christmas two years ago, even though you weren’t dating her then.

Eastern Conference Quarterfinals:#4 Pittsburgh Penguins vs #5 Philadelphia Flyers
For the Pens this year, it has been business as usual. Crosby gets hurt; Malkin steps up. The Penguins proved once again that the key to Malkin’s success is to not have Sidney Crosby play. They could save a lot of money by trading Crosby and just not telling Malkin about it.
Malkin had a career year; he is a 50-goal scorer, is likely the league MVP, and is proof that there are Supercuts in Russia.
Also having a career year is left winger James Neal, who put up an impressive 40 goals. Neal’s Wikipedia page refers to him as James “The Real Deal” Neal, which shows that in addition to scoring goals, Neal also knows how to edit Wikipedia pages.
The Flyers had a very busy offseason, turning over nearly half their roster, spending big money on goaltender Ilya Bryzgalov, and, perhaps most importantly, not re-signing Dan Carcillo. The addition of Bryzgalov was meant to secure the goalie position for the foreseeable future, which is technically true, since they signed him to an untradeable contract.
Among the new Flyers are former Penguins Max Talbot and Jaromir Jagr, and gritty winger Wayne Simmonds. Simmonds was welcomed by the Flyers faithful, most of whom remarked, “I didn’t know that Apollo Creed could skate.”
The Pens are stacked, and eager to make up for an early exit last playoffs. The Flyers roll 4 solid lines, and have plenty of depth to fill the void left by whichever player gets suspended for laying out Crosby.
Flyers in 7.

Eastern Conference Quarterfinals:
#4 Pittsburgh Penguins vs #5 Philadelphia Flyers

For the Pens this year, it has been business as usual. Crosby gets hurt; Malkin steps up. The Penguins proved once again that the key to Malkin’s success is to not have Sidney Crosby play. They could save a lot of money by trading Crosby and just not telling Malkin about it.

Malkin had a career year; he is a 50-goal scorer, is likely the league MVP, and is proof that there are Supercuts in Russia.

Also having a career year is left winger James Neal, who put up an impressive 40 goals. Neal’s Wikipedia page refers to him as James “The Real Deal” Neal, which shows that in addition to scoring goals, Neal also knows how to edit Wikipedia pages.

The Flyers had a very busy offseason, turning over nearly half their roster, spending big money on goaltender Ilya Bryzgalov, and, perhaps most importantly, not re-signing Dan Carcillo. The addition of Bryzgalov was meant to secure the goalie position for the foreseeable future, which is technically true, since they signed him to an untradeable contract.

Among the new Flyers are former Penguins Max Talbot and Jaromir Jagr, and gritty winger Wayne Simmonds. Simmonds was welcomed by the Flyers faithful, most of whom remarked, “I didn’t know that Apollo Creed could skate.”

The Pens are stacked, and eager to make up for an early exit last playoffs. The Flyers roll 4 solid lines, and have plenty of depth to fill the void left by whichever player gets suspended for laying out Crosby.

Flyers in 7.

A report has surfaced that Mike Richards and Jeff Carter were traded because of their excessive drinking and partying, in particular their failure to comply with “Dry Island,” Coach Laviolette’s request that players commit to not drinking for a month. 
I think people have misunderstood the “Dry Island” thing. It was not about getting players to stop drinking; it was simply Laviolette asking Dan Carcillo to stop taking shots for a month.
(photo: AP/Matt Slocum)

A report has surfaced that Mike Richards and Jeff Carter were traded because of their excessive drinking and partying, in particular their failure to comply with “Dry Island,” Coach Laviolette’s request that players commit to not drinking for a month. 

I think people have misunderstood the “Dry Island” thing. It was not about getting players to stop drinking; it was simply Laviolette asking Dan Carcillo to stop taking shots for a month.

(photo: AP/Matt Slocum)

Jul 1

Continuing their “PA Turnpike” makeover, the Flyers have signed former Penguin Max Talbot. The real winners of the deal? Every Philadelphia area car dealership.

Jul 1
Perhaps concerned that Flyers fans don’t already have enough things to boo, the Flyers have signed Jaromir Jagr to a 1-yr deal worth $3.3M. 3.3 million! For a 39-year old player who has not played an NHL game since 2008. He has managed a respectable 1.05 PPG in the KHL, but to be fair, it is the KHL, where if a puck goes into the stands, the fan has to give it back so the game can continue. 
The Flyers have taken 60% of Mike Richards’ cap hit, and given it to an old man who will do nothing. This is not a contract; it is an NEA Grant.

Perhaps concerned that Flyers fans don’t already have enough things to boo, the Flyers have signed Jaromir Jagr to a 1-yr deal worth $3.3M. 3.3 million! For a 39-year old player who has not played an NHL game since 2008. He has managed a respectable 1.05 PPG in the KHL, but to be fair, it is the KHL, where if a puck goes into the stands, the fan has to give it back so the game can continue. 

The Flyers have taken 60% of Mike Richards’ cap hit, and given it to an old man who will do nothing. This is not a contract; it is an NEA Grant.