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Eastern Conference Quarterfinals:
#2 Boston Bruins vs #7 Washington Capitals

The defending champion Bruins began their season by skating the Cup around TD Garden in their home opener, something which I believe has never been done in NHL history. Because when you play in a city like Boston, which doesn’t believe at all in curses or anything, you definitely want to go against 100 years of tradition. Sure enough, they began the season 3-7, but soon turned things around and regained their championship form. I’m not exactly sure how; I’ll wait until the movie version with Jimmy Fallon to find out.

With the exception of Mark Recchi (who retired or returned to guarding the Holy Grail or something), most of last year’s group is intact. The only major personnel move was a contract extension for Brad Marchand. Marchand celebrated with a cookout at his house, which everyone but Tim Thomas attended. 

The Bruins will need to Thomas to come up big again; even bigger than our own overbloated government (eh, Timmy?). If Thomas falters, or gets invited someplace he actually wants to go, the B’s will have to rely on Marty Turco to fill in for injured backup (and notorious Star Wars bounty hunter) Tuukka Rask. Turco is the kind of veteran goaltender who could easily steal a game for the other team.

Meanwhile, in the great tradition of Washingtonian flip-flopping, it’s hard to figure out what kind of team the Caps are. Are they the team that started strong (and were picked by many as Cup favorites)? Or are they the team that struggled through the season, eventually costing coach Bruce “7-second delay” Boudreau his job? 

New coach Dale Hunter drew upon his years of playing experience and began motivating his players by beating them up.

Boudreau, incidentally, was hired almost immediately by the Anaheim Ducks, to replace their own just-fired, overweight, balding, red-faced head coach Randy Carlyle. This is like when your parents try to replace your dead goldfish with a new one that looks just like it. Except the new fish curses more and can’t get Alex Ovechkin to pay attention to it.

If the underachieving version of the Caps shows up, this will be a pretty short series. If the real team shows up, it will be a slightly less short series.

Bruins in 6.

Fashion note: should the Caps stick with their throwback alternate unis, this will be the sharpest-looking matchup of the first round.

Here’s Shawn Thornton of the Boston Bruins and Jim Vandermeer of the San Jose Sharks fighting over which team has the more annoying, homer-rific broadcasters. Relax, guys, you’re both right.

The Bruins ousthot the Sharks in the game, but the CSN Bay Area crew bested NESN in uses of the phrase “possible Cup Finals preview.”

(Photo by Elsa/Getty Images)

The Bruins commemorated last spring’s victory by skating the Cup around and raising the championship banner. Meanwhile, in Vancouver, the Canucks commemorated the Cup Finals by giving up some quick soft goals on home ice.

(Photo by Elsa/Getty Images)